It's been far too long since I've been the face behind a glowing screen and a keyboard. Way too long. My heart has ached to write for a while now but amidst the chaos that is just normal, everyday life, I haven't made time for one of my passions. I regret that. I've missed out on so much! I haven't documented some of the most precious times. But, I've been trying my best to live in the moment and log it all away in my brain. We'll see how those memories stand the test of time. :)
But, I'm back. After a long hiatus life has given me some unrequested free time and I feel that one of the best things I can do for my mind and my heart is to write - to document this season in the most real way. So, here I am. I make no plans to sugar coat anything, which I guess is just how I handle my writing generally, so this should come at no surprise.
I had a precious friend and mentor mention to me recently that maybe I didn't want to be so vocal about everything - while people love to read it, maybe it comes across as a vulnerability here or there - maybe it's best to be a bit more "censored"
I valued her comment because I respect the Godly woman she is and the council she has to offer me always, I really did meditate on what she said. I prayed over it. Am I putting too much out there? Am I too much of an open book? And while yes, it does show weakness, and that honesty can often times be turned into vulnerabilities that affect other opportunities in life, at the end of the day I feel as though when I begin to write someone else, Someone much Higher and Bigger than I am takes over, and the things I share come from Him. So in this moment I surrender this blog and all it entails to Him. In the season I am there are moments of tremendous highs but just as high as those mountains can be the valleys are equally raw and scary and filled with depression and despair. I feel it only right to share in both of these times. Whether life is sunny or rather when it is a thunderstorm outside...I will come here to share. Take it with you, if you like - or feel free to walk away. This has always been more for me, more for my sanity and relationship with my King than for anyone else.
So here goes nothing...what's been going on?
Today marks week 28 and day 4 of my pregnancy. J and I are expecting TWIN BOYS in May and our hearts are honestly filled with more joy than we knew was even possible! From the moment we found out about these babies we have been surprised, scared, and on a roller coaster - and let's just say that roller coaster has continued to dip, drop and flip OVER and OVER again for the past 28 weeks. We are thankful that where we are today we can celebrate two growing baby boys.
This season has presented something I was certain I would never experience...bedrest. At 22.5 weeks my body began preparing to bring Thompson and Jack Willingham into the world a BIT too early. My awesome doctor sent me to bed for a week to see if the issues would resolve themselves (shortening cervix, contractions, etc) and after a test run of bedrest it was decided that I needed to move to bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy in order to keep all three of us healthy. I went ahead and had two steroid shots over a couple of days to prepare the boys lungs for a pretty likely early arrival and I'm taking some medicine every four hours to help prevent my contractions from continuing and to help with the increasing pressure of carrying twins on my body. To say it has been CRAZY seems like an understatement.
The coolest part of this journey so far has been the community of believers that have chosen to follow this pregnancy, stand next to us, pray for us, bring us food and goodies all the time - just our village that loves us so well during this time. J and I are honestly humbled beyond belief at the outpouring of love and support for us and for our boys. Thompson and Jack Willingham have such a phenomenal FAMILY they are coming into -we couldn't be more excited to introduce them in no more than 9.5 weeks to the world and to all of those who have prayed over and supported us during this season. We have been amazed to watch Jesus work - yall, the way He takes care of His children from birth...even before any of us are even conceived...just amazing!
I guess that's all as far as my reintroduction to the blogging world. Plan to come here to write about my anxieties, my fears, my triumphs, and all that God is showing me during this season of rest.
Talk to you soon,
AC
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