Give Me Jesus...

Sometimes it feels like I'm watching from the outside

Sometimes it feels like I'm, breathing but am i alive?

I won't keep searching for answers that aren't here to find...

All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.

So when the walls come falling down on me

And when I'm lost in the current of a raging sea

I have this blessed assurance holding me

All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.

When the earth shakes, I want to be found in You

When the lights fade, I want to be found in You

All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong. Take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong.

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won't last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen.  For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 NLT

"So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 The Message 

Clearly - I have heaven on the brain today. I don't think the majority of believers spend enough time thinking on this subject - and not in a "can i just get there?" kind of way - but in a realistic, where I was created to be and what is my purpose until that day kind of way. 

I have tried to make a point over the past couple of years to spend my time in the morning while I'm getting dressed for work spending some intentional time with Jesus. Ok, it might sound crazy - putting on lipstick, blow drying hair, talking to the Creator of the universe...I get that - but it works for me. I crank up my favorite worship songs, sing at the top of my lungs, talk aloud to my Dad - and try to make a big point to just listen for His voice.  My goodness He has so many things He wants to share with us but the sounds of our crazy chaos usually drown Him out - -Now I'll admit, I am not always very good at this intentional time with Him, some days my brain goes a million different directions and when I finally settle to spend some time with Him it's time to grab some yogurt and sprint through the door to get to the office.  But the mornings I give it a try - I really set aside some time for the Big Guy - well, He never ever fails me, He always comes through, and He ALWAYS has something to say. 

This morning was like any other morning, cranking the music, thanking Him for all that He is in the middle of my messy humanity - and the song above comes on and I just stop -- I'm suddenly fascinated with the idea of where I'm going - I can't stop listening to it - it's been on repeat for the majority of my day - 

All I know is I'm not home yet, this is not where I belong, take this world and give me Jesus, this is not where I belong...

I don't know about you, whoever you are reading this post, but I have days sometimes where things just don't click. I spill water on my shirt on the way to work, I left my sweater in the washing machine too long and while it doesn't smell terrible - there's a little funkiness about it that I didn't notice until I got to office, I forget every log in name and password for my computer and get locked out of things repeatedly, I slip in the bathroom, I have red lipstick smudged on my face and a paper towel and water (all that i have available to me at the office) is doing anything BUT removing the stain, I missed a meeting, I zoned out when the boss asked an important question (busted), I broke my favorite coffee cup -- You get my drift. (and no, today hasn't been one of those days, but you get my point) - on those days when things just don't click from the start there's this twinge in the deepest part of my spirit, this little knocking reminding me that this isn't what I was created for. God has something BIGGER for me. But don't we get all wrapped around the axle on these days? Aren't these days simply the hardest because we feel we can't make one single thing go right? But the truth is - - we should never find ourselves completely at peace on this earth.  We should always have this internal longing inside of us - if we are called to be IN this world but not OF this world - then we will always be just a little off course, just a tad bit different - for we weren't created for here. (now I realize a broken coffee cup and a smudge of lipstick isn't the biggest thing that drives us to the notion that God has something bigger, it's BIG things - hard things - LIFE things - that create this inside of us...all examples are just to try to illustrate a feeling that is similar to what I am speaking of...if this makes no sense, forgive me, it's just a dreary Tuesday) :)  God created us for our perfect home - we were created to walk with Him in Eden and since the fall (studying a lot about this lately) we have been wandering around in an environment that is anything but suitable for us.  Now the really cool thing is that Jesus has a purpose for each of us in this world - we are all designed and purposed for perfection in the presence of our Savior BUT He has designed His children with hearts that are geared toward the great commission - sharing the GOOD NEWS we all have in our hearts with a world who feels totally at peace with where they are! 

Out of our discomfort with this world should come a sincere desire for sharing our God with others. 

Out of our discomfort in this world should come a constant rejuvenation for His word and His calling on our lives. 

Our "not fitting in" should be a constant reminder that what He has planned isn't finished - and it should stir our hearts to ACTION. 

This morning I realized that on days when things just seem off - and when my spirit has that uncomfortable feeling - I need to praise my Savior. These days I get so discouraged every time I turn on the television or notice the magazines on the rack at the grocery store, we have so much bad going on in our world. Our marriages, our families, our children, our churches - all being attacked from every angle by this world.  I am grateful that I wasn't created for here and that I know when my hearts stop beating or my Savior comes back (whichever comes first) I'm outta here! I will be headed to the place He has prepared for me and promised for me in scripture ---> "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am." John 14:1-3

I want to be more intentional about setting my sites on what is unseen - on faith - on trusting His purpose and plan for my day, each day.  We all have a purpose today, right now! Isn't that encouraging to think about? That even in the middle of your coffee stained, bad hair day, tripped and fell in the mud day GOD has a purpose for you? I am thankful that He creates beauty from the ashes - I cannot wait to see all that He has in store. I want to be more intentional about sharing my heart for Him with others -- if we really believe it is GOOD NEWS then why on earth wouldn't we share it? Trusting His guidance - believing in His heart - claiming His purpose on my life.

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming - - anxiously awaiting His return, trusting His plan, praying for courage to live it out one step at a time. He is more than enough for me.