"Sistas"

One of the hardest life lessons I have had to learn through the years is that some friendships are only for a season. It's a doozy don't ya think?

Junior Year: Decorating for Prom with my absolute best friends.  All piling in a car with the windows down and the radio up heading to Sonic for a break. Powder puff football. Spend the night parties at Stowe's house with the entire class. --> you never would have convinced me had you told me that some of these friendships would end and that others would morph and change. This would be forever.

Senior Year: Girls nights bumping Avril Lavigne in the Tahoe. Cabin parties. Long lunches on the deck in the sunshine. Homecoming. Senior Parties. Friday night lights. --> Even if you had told me things would change, there was no way I would EVER believe it...these friendships were for a lifetime!

College: Frisbee in the quad. Late night conversations on the bunk beds. Formal. ---> for the sake of not belaboring a point I'll just stop here and say...At any major time in my life you never would have had me believe that the friends I was with, the people I was making precious memories with at the time, would become something different in my life.  That our relationships would change, evolve, some disappear...never.

And that's part of getting older. Now that the shock of seasonal friendships has disappeared I have learned to really enjoy the special moments with friends even more, to truly cherish those times when we are together, to not always be checking my watch or my phone but to ENGAGE completely with this friend. For we really never know when things might change and how.

And so because of this hard life lesson I have REALLY learned to appreciate my "sistas" as I deemed them not too terribly long ago.  Who are these ladies you may wonder...my "sistas" are 7 ladies who I have literally known my entire life.  Well, mostly. For as long as I can remember these girls have been in my life, a part of my family - our parents are best friends, we are all best friends, and if something were to happen in the dead middle of the night and I needed to call someone I would call any one of these girls and she would do whatever she could to cheer me up or bail me out :)

Earlier in the week J and I were reading Captivating and the chapter was titled - Mothers, Daughters, Sisters: The entire chapter was discussing the importance of female friends. How important close relationships with females, close relationships, really are for a woman's well being.  And at this point the book goes on to explain that if you have 3 of these close friends you are doing good.  I smiled. This has always been something interesting for me -- see I had a lot of friends that had TONS of friends, lots and lots of people to throw the frisbee with in the quad or to sit at a football game with - but I always lended myself to a few really close friendships, people I knew I could call with my biggest victory or dirtiest challenge who would be on board in a moments notice to join in with me, no matter what that looked like - I never really cared much for thousands of acquaintances.  Now, that doesn't mean I was not friendly, of course I was, but I just preferred my close knit group.  And in this book it discusses how Jesus had the 12 - - but then He had the 3, who were His tightest, most intimate friends. These three gathered with Him to pray before the crucifixion...these 3 were who He took every single detail to -

And as I read about this I just smiled....and I began to say thank you to the Big Guy for my girls. My "sistas" who have seen me at my worst -- and totally called me out on it but loved me through it -- and who will be standing with me on my wedding day, ready to DANCE AND CELEBRATE the evening away with me and J.  People comment quite often how lucky we are to have one another and the older I get the more I realize how very true this is.  Relationships like these don't come along every day.

Now don't get me wrong...when I talk about how close we are, we also can get on each others nerves in a moment flat -- we are SISTERS after all :) but that's the beauty of the friendship - no matter what challenge or struggle, it prevails.  And because of that I know it is something from the Lord.

The chapter reminded me of the scripture in Ruth - I have heard this quoted at many a wedding but the reality of the context of this scripture is that Ruth is speaking to a female, Naomi: "But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God"

What a powerful scripture -- Naomi was Ruth's mother in law at that -- but to say I'm not going back to "my people" back to where I am comfortable - I'm sticking with you.  I will be beside you no matter what life throws your way, we will stay together and I will not turn my back on you - -> powerful words about a female relationship don't ya think? And we are that faithful - we do stick together - and we do need these precious relationships to THRIVE in this world.  Yet again, SO thankful for my "sistas" who are always there...and I never ever have to question their loyalty to the friendship - we do because we love...and it is amazing.

"Little girls have best friends. Grown women long for them. To have a woman friend is to relax into another soul and be welcomed in all that you are and all that you are not. To know that as a woman, you are not alone. Friendships between women provide a safe place to share in the experiences of life as a woman." 

I can remember years ago praying for deep meaningful friendships - ones that would really go the distance - and you know what the Lord revealed to me? They were right before my eyes.  They had been under my nose my entire life - I had just not figured out how to truly embrace them yet...And embrace them I did, we all did -- HAZGNO has become one of the most anticipated and appreciated times for us.  A night when we can ALL go out together and just CHAT (this has become a bit more difficult more recently because we aren't all in the same town...or state anymore!) but we still make it happen.  And let's not forget about Easter Luncheon (Saturday before Easter) when our moms and the daughters get together and annoy everyone else in the restaurant with our obnoxious laughter and conversations...our hearts thrive in these moments - we were created for relationships like this. 

"Friendship is a great gift. One to be prayed for and not taken for granted. If you do not have the kind of friendship you long for, ask God to bring it into your life, to give you eyes to recognize it when He does. When God gives a friend, He is entrusting us with the care of another's heart. It is a chance to mother and to sister, to be a Life giver, to help someone else become the woman she was created to be, to walk alongside her and call her deep heart forth. Friendships need to be nurtured and guarded and fought for. We need to call one another without waiting to be called first. We need to ask how our friends are doing and really listen to their answers. Listen between the lines."

I was reminded yet again last night of one thing I simply love about these girls...one of my "sistas" picked me up to take me to a reception we both had to attend last night and as always we were chatting non stop about life and all the chaos it entails. When she dropped me off at my house later on we just sat in the car and talked - - and it wasn't just meaningless chatter it was chatter of the heart.  She is a precious soul, a beautiful heart - and she was asking how I was doing.  Sounds a bit unimportant from just looking at the words but when I tell you she was asking how I was, I mean she was asking about the state of my heart...the state of my spirit - - how I was handling all of the chaos (good and bad) around me...what she could do for me...the list could extend for pages and pages.  And THIS is something that I think I take for granted all too often about these precious friends of mine...they care. They really care. Sure they care about the surface things, the catty things, the day to day things...but they also really care about the things of the heart, things that matter into eternity - they love me, and they show it in a million different way.  My "sistas" are a treasure that I can't come close to explaining in a blog post.  But for the sake of the blog I will tell you one thing I love about each of them -- they will remain nameless, but they know who they are. :)

• A true sister, by blood. She stands in the face of a stressful situation and calms the waves for me. She brings things into perspective. While she may be panicking on the inside she never wavers on the outside for me. She is a fixer, and wants to make sure we all feel loved and as important as she feels we are to her. She is also our planner, and goes above and beyond to make sure everyone is taken care of. She's sweet spirited and filled with precious intentions always. 
• My flower child. I never have to wonder if I am going to be bored with her because she is going to make sure that something is going on, something FUN and filled with energy. She's passionate about you - -and like me if she loves you, she just LOVES you but if you've ticked her off one too many times, she's over it.  I adore this because it's so much like myself. She is genuinely always excited about what is going on in your life and wants to know all of the details. She will give her opinion whether you want it or not and I never have to question how she feels about things...she's real with me, and I love that about her.
• The brain. She has the sweetest spirit and may not be heard very often but when she speaks you better listen. She is thoughtful, never missing a special event - always letting you know she is thinking about you and praying for you...even on the day you go to find your wedding dress.She's put together and established but not afraid to let lose and jump in on the craziness when the timing is right. She is loyal, always...and the best hugger ever...hands down!
• The total planner. She will always help you sort things out, even in moments under pressure - in fact she may sort things out even better under pressure than without it! She is filled with creativity and organization and she will be the first to figure it all out if you put it in front of her. She is decisive, a trait I am insanely jealous of. She knows what she likes and she doesn't teeter back and forth much on it. She can share in your excitement in a way that makes you feel as though it is her own - totally jumping in to love you through every moment. She's got style too - classic to a tee. 
• My got your back girl. At any moment in my life when I have been a little fearful of someone, whether it be an older bully or a random crazy female I never have to worry if I'm going to have to jump into the battle alone, she is ALWAYS right behind me, heck sometimes in front of me, ready to tackle anyone to protect me. She lifts me up and affirms me perfectly when I'm feeling not good enough. She's filled with love, and a lot of laughter. She is one of the first to tell me if I'm being a little silly and can ground me gracefully like only a "sista" can. 
• The nurturer. She has a ginormous heart and has such a mothering spirit - she also always wants to share in the joy (like every sista does!) and her laugh is absolutely contagious. She knows how to throw a party and keeps it together in a classic way. She always supports me, lifts me up in prayer whenever I ask, and is certainly someone I will have on speed dial if God blesses me with little ones. She's giving, of her talents and her spirit and anything else she has - I'm pretty certain she would give me the shirt off her back if I asked. She loves to get together as much as I do - and she will drop anything to make that happen.
• The excited one. She is going to let everyone know how happy she is for you, and with you, at any given time. She has such a genuine spirit, truly wanting to hear what's going on in your world and not just wanting to hear it but to walk it with you. She's thoughtful - never forgetting to send a word of encouragement or lifting up a prayer of concern and love.  She is probably the one who will call me out the quickest, but love me through the hard part and help me figure out a way to get to the other side of my mess.  She's a servant, sometimes to a fault. She loves her people passionately and no one ever has to question her on that - it's obvious.

 Of course this is just a quick glimpse into what each of these woman are for me...I could write a book on each one without a doubt...I thank my God every time I remember you and cannot imagine a day of my life without each of you in it.  I know for certain that our friendships aren't seasonal...they are for a lifetime.  And I can't wait to have my "sistas" with me on November 29th.....I wouldn't have it ANY OTHER WAY.

(a post about my sistas mommas coming soon...I certainly cannot forget the women who brought my favorite ladies into the world now can i?) :)