Pops of Color

Well - clearly I have already failed at my "Lent Challenge" of adding in something new every single day for 40 days - hello no blog post yesterday! Good thing about falling short is, it's expected - that's the reason for the cross.  Amen? :) So I'm back at it today - Wishing the sunshine would peek its head through the clouds a little more this second but other than that - i simply love Sunday!

Growing up, Sunday was always a special day - it was treated as the Sabbath...I grew up knowing what that meant, seeing that lived out in my parents - Sundays were spent napping, enjoying time with family, relaxing, laughing, and not putting too much emphasis on the week ahead.  We were always in church as a family - I can remember mornings when I gave my parents a little heck, wanting to stay home instead of going to church -- let's just say I didn't ever get my way on that one.  We were going to be in church - period.  I had moments during the course of my years at home where this frustrated me but looking back on those days now, as an adult (which is still pretty weird for me to call myself btw) - I am so incredibly grateful for that "rule" in our home because I cherish the importance that was instilled in my at an early age to be in the Lord's house and to appreciate the Sabbath for what our God intended it to be.  Awesome stuff.  I had/still have amazing parents yall.

All of that to say Sunday has become mine and J's favorite day of the week - we adore our church...seriously - we have found a family of believers at Christ who lift us up, love on us in the best way, challenge us, stretch us outside of our comfort zone, and feel completely comfortable calling us out when we need a little course redirection.  That's true community and we are thankful to have found that together at Christ.  We love our lunch destination after church, especially on sunny days! We love that we go to church with our family each week - we love the laziness of the day, the catching up on shows we have DVRd, outside fun projects - grilling out - fishing - i could stretch this list for pages but you get the point - we love the it is a day set aside to worship, be in the house of the Lord, and spend time with those who matter most to us. It's just good stuff.

It's been a really good weekend - lots of "Pops of Color" as I am referring to in my blog title today. Life  can be so grey sometimes - nothing depressing - just hum drum run of the mill normal every day routine ya know? And while I am thankful to be in a routine that I honestly do love - those "pops of color" that show up from time to time, more recently than normal, to shake up the routine and simply leave me smiling.  Yesterday was a major "pop of color" for me...I guess figuratively and literally now that I think about it! Too funny.

Yesterday began the talks about wedding hair (did I mention I get to marry the LOVE of my life in 265 days?...just making sure) :) :) --> one of the most fun things so far about planning our wedding has been the time I have gotten to spend with my sister and my mom.  We are a VERY close family but it is such a joy to be able to walk this journey with two phenomenal women who love and support me and J...(and it certainly doesn't hurt that they also have fantastic taste and can and have helped me so much!) Yesterday was one of those special meetings where I was able to spend the most part of the day with my mom...We had the best time at William Wallace with Justin, such a precious friend and such a talent in Jackson!  If you are needing hair cut/color/extensions/etc...go see Eddie and Justin at William Wallace in Fondren - precious people/talented people/good stuff.  As we talked about the wedding, the new house, life in general - all the while sipping my favorite champagne might I add - I watched Justin transform this crazy head of curly hair into a beautifully polished version for my wedding day. I keep having these experiences that make it "real" - of course trying on wedding dresses and finding the perfect dress for me was one major "real" moment of planning this special ceremony - Going to look for wedding rings for Jason, yeah...that was a super duper real moment for me - and sitting in front of a mirror watching my hair turn from wild and crazy to still crazy and curly but polished/fixed/gorgeous -watching my mom out of the corner of my eye lighting up with each curl set into place - wondering what she was thinking, watching her face simply light up when he had finished - the whole process was special in such a unique way - and it was another real moment for me...this wedding is happening.  Jesus has answered my prayers. November 29 - I'll walk down an aisle and meeting the man I love and we will commit to each other and to our Savior, entering into a covenant with Him - to live our lives in a manner that glorifies Him - spreading the good news through life lived in His will - when things simply stink, when finances are tight, when death happens and heartache occurs - standing together and walking with our God to live out His calling on our lives.  It's a huge commitment - it's anything but easy - but this challenge is His will for us and we are excited to walk it out with him.

Whew, that was a random moment - leading up to something rather pivotal.

J and I have been reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge (John wrote the book Wild at Heart as well) Anyway - this book is all about unveiling the mystery of a woman's soul - as God created it and intended for it to be.  We were reading the chapter titled "Romance" the other day and God just spoke to my feminine heart in a new and unique way.  Now, I've read this book before - it's nothing new to me - but I love how He can use things we've seen a thousand times and reveal them to us in a new and inspiring way, speaking to our hearts a new message, a gift from His spirit.  The chapter was talking about how we, as woman, are the beauty and Jesus, is our lover.  The book questions us...does this make you uncomfortable? Does this make you question if this is even okay...should I ever think of my God, my Jesus this way? And I reacted just as the writers knew I would I'm sure...at this notion, Jesus as lover my thoughts wanted to quickly run away from the thought...this can't be an accurate perspective...He created me, sure...but He also created the universe...the galaxy we live in and MILLIONS of other galaxies that we can't even see, or come close to comprehending.  Jesus as my lover...now that might be pushing it.  Boy did He have plans for my heart that evening as we read....

It wasn't long into the chapter before tears began to flow, it was my turn to read and as I tried to read aloud I kept finding myself choking up - silent sobs of joy and wonder as scripture was shared...

"What does your heart do with that.  Is there a bit of hesitation? Is this okay? Is there a bit of longing...I'd love for that to happen...Perhaps there might be for some of you a tinge of fear, the wince of your wounded heart. I don't want to open that up. Then you can see that there is healing for your heart in moving toward this. It's okay. It's quite biblical.  Jesus calls himself the Bridegroom....(Matthew 9:15, Matthew 25:1-10, John 3:29) Now you'll need to take the religious drapery and sanctimonious gilding off of this.  Bridegroom simply means fiance. Lover.  (world rocked right here...how have I missed this simple truth all of these years??) This is one of the most intimate of all the metaphors Jesus chose to describe his love and longing for us, and the kind of relationship he invites us into."

Now I know that no one came to read my blog to read a book written by someone else - and I really encourage every woman to grab this book and read it, write notes in it, come back months later - even years later and soak up the goodness again - and I also encourage couples to read it together...J and I are reading through it and then diving into Wild at Heart - we believe it's important to study God's word together, to dive into books about our Savior together...we believe that the more we know about how God created us each uniquely female and male - and the more we learned about why He designed our hearts and spirits the way He did - the better we can love each other, the better we can minister to men and women on the journey with us - the better believers we will be...Our prayer has been and continues to be that Jesus would wreck all of our plans and invade them with HIS plan and will for us...praying that He continues to be glorified in our journey.

So anyway - the next part of the book after it explains Jesus as Bridegroom or Fiance was pretty awesome too..and I promise there is a point coming soon.

"You might recall that the Scriptures use a number of metaphors to describe our relationship with God. We are portrayed as clay, and he is the potter. We are sheep, and he the shepherd. Each metaphor is beautiful and speaks to the various seasons of our spiritual lives and to the various aspects of God's heart toward us.  But have you noticed they ASCEND in a stunning way? From potter and his clay to a shepherd and his sheep, there is a marked difference in intimacy, in the way they relate. It gets even better.  From master and servant to father and child, there is a wonderful progression into greater intimacy. It grows more beautiful and rich when he calls us his friends.  But what is most breathtaking is when God says he is our LOVER (Our Bridegroom, Our Fiance), and we his BRIDE. that is the pinnacle, the goal of our redemption (used in the last chapter of the Bible, when Christ returns for his bride) and the most intimate and romantic of all)"

Are you wondering what my point is? -- As we read this the other day my heart just welled up with joy - and maybe it took me becoming a fiance, preparing my body - heart - spirit - self to become a BRIDE - for me to really understand this.  But holy smokes.  How often to we see the pinnacle of it all being Jesus becoming the bridegroom...coming after his bride? I know I often think on and celebrate in my heart the thought that He has already defeated satan, I am HIS child, and He is coming back for me...this world is certainly not my home, I wasn't created for this world and I am made more keenly aware of it with every passing day and each small or large disappointment - He didn't create me for this. But do I think about it in this kind of context? As my heart gushed and J and I discussed this I got to the bottom of the unveiling in my heart -- I am in the middle of planning the most special day of my life to date - I am working out every single day, dieting like a mad woman, searching high and low for the perfect dress, the perfect flowers, the perfect music - facial appointments, hair appointments - the preparation to do list could go on and on and on - all of it in preparation for November 29 -- How much MORE should I be preparing my heart and life for the coming of my true fiance? my bridegroom...my Jesus? We walk through life thinking in this way: if I can just get my drivers license, if I can just turn 18, if I can just move out of my parents house, if I can just graduate from college, if I can just get a good job, drive the best car, own the biggest house, have the prettiest children - - - we gauge our life based on these earthly milestones and accomplishments - we put all of our "eggs" into these baskets to do good, live good, be successful - but how much more Jesus longs for us to prepare for Him, develop our heart and relationship with HIM -

I'll just say - I was convicted in a major way.  Earthly marriage is meant to only be a representation of what is to come! It isn't the pinnacle of our existence - it's a gift from Him, no question about it - but it is meant to draw us closer to our Creator, to help us to see a glimpse of His love for us a little better and understand it a little deeper - the pinnacle of our existence is when the PERFECT One comes back for His bride.  Can you even imagine that day? Think of all we do to prepare for our own wedding day...and then think of all He prepares for us for HIS wedding day....world rocking thinking!

Now, as I continue down the road to planning our big day, I am challenged to spend even more time in the Word of God, even more time communicating with my Creator, even more time journaling to Him - it is the MOST important relationship I have after all - for He is the only one who will never disappoint us, will never wrong us, always has our best interest at heart and knows us better than anyone because He knit us together in our mother's womb....what a mighty God we serve!

My Pop of Color today is resting in His grace and love - allowing my spirit to marinate on the fact that I am HIS bride and He is coming for me to take me to the place I was created to be.  What a perfect reminder on this Sabbath day.

"Sprit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, that my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior..."